Social Good Moms asked us to share about our birth story and how we felt after birth with Save the Children.
I think back often on Peanuts birth and how many changes I will be making the next time around. Since this was my first birth, I really didn’t know what to expect. I put my full faith in my midwife and doctor. This was such a mistake.
About two weeks before I delivered, we were in the hospital because he wasn’t moving as much as he should be. I was nervous, as any first time mom would be. They said not to worry, it was because he was not reacting well to the contractions. They felt that I may have a problem labor because of this. I had my check up a few days later and she thought I may have been leaking fluid, but once again nothing to be concerned with.
Fast forward to June 6, I wake up leaking more fluid, but not a ton. They want me to come in to check. So off we go. After my internal exam, I have a midwife tell me she cannot feel the bag and the nurse disagreeing with her. So off we go for another ultrasound. They say that it looks a like my fluid is a little low, once again, nothing to be concerned with.
I’m thinking, ok, cool, we are going home. Nope. Wrong. I am informed that they are going to induce. Now, I’m panicking. This is nothing like I had planned. I was going natural, no drugs. This is the exact opposite. But, what do I know? I’ve never done this before. After calls were made, it’s off to my room, hubby by my side. My mom was there within the hour and my Aunt made the three-hour trip in much less than 3 hours.
Contractions are off the chart and I am doing great. Peanut on the other hand, HATED the pitocin. So, they try to put the fetal monitor onto his scalp. Low and behold, she ruptures my bag. What?!? The bag that was supposedly not there was just ruptured. Now, I am told I will have to deliver in 24 hours because my water broke. What the heck?
So, due to his reaction, they stop the pitocin and contractions. We wait and they try it again. Same thing, he hates it and his heart isn’t doing well. So I am informed they have to do a cesarean because they are worried. Bull… but fine, I trust my doctor. So, I’m scheduled for surgery in 4 hours. 30 minutes later, I’m being rushed off for my c-section. I am an emotional wreck at this point.
Epidural in, hubby by my sides, here we go. After the surgery, they showed me my son and took him away. I wasn’t able to hold him or anything. Fast forward an hour or so, I am in recovery.
I am in so much pain. This is horrible. But my husband brings me my son, since the nurse wasn’t doing it. What a beautiful angel. I was so proud. I held onto him and never wanted to let him go. I knew I wanted to do kangaroo care, but that wasn’t an option because they were all over me and pestering me. I just wanted to scream to be left alone. I was able to get my son to latch on during all of this though.
We are finally cleared to go to my room. I held my son for a bit, tried to get him to latch on again, unsuccessfully this time and then I slept. I slept for hours at a time because of all the pain meds they had me on. A day and a half into my stay, my nurse noticed he wasn’t eating well. I’ve been telling everyone this, but no one wants to listen. My son is then rushed off to the NICU.
I walked or should I say hobbled, back and forth from my room to the NICU several times a day. 12 days later he was able to come home. That was when I really bonded with my son. I knew I loved him but seeing him in NICU was terrifying and it was hard to bond with someone you can’t touch.
Next time, I will be having a home birth. I am not going to be forced into a major surgery like that again.
What was your birth story and your thoughts and remembrances of your first moments after birth?