7 little habits that steal your happiness

I love their site. Today I caught this post in my emails and thought I would share.


1.  Letting every little problem get the best of you.

Inner peace begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

In other words, the greater part of your happiness or misery in the long run depends on your attitude, not your circumstances.  If you’re stressed out by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your interpretation of it; and this is something you have the power to change at any moment.

Just take that deep breath, adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.

2.  Expecting the day to be easy and everything to go as planned.

Easy days don’t exist when you’re doing amazing things.  Good goals require hard work.  Your days may be enjoyable, but there will always be unexpected obstacles.  Expecting otherwise just leads to unnecessary headaches and heartache.

Decades from now when you’re resting on your deathbed, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered goals of magnitude.  You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.

So don’t do what’s easy, do what you’re capable of today.  Astound yourself with your own greatness.

3.  Wanting your efforts to be absolutely perfect.

Every one of us is a perfectionist about something.  Learn to sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done well.  Realize that the idea of perfection is not only unachievable, it can destroy your otherwise productive mindset.  It will keep you running in place, feeling insane for your entire life.

If you feel like you’re running in place right now, take a break and reflect.  Think about the difference between diligent effort and perfectionism.  Know when enough is enough!

Say it out loud if you must:  “Get lost perfectionism!  Without you I am brilliant!”  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Lacking presence.

Isn’t it strange how life works?  You want something and you work for it and wait for it and work for it and wait for it, and you feel like it’s taking forever to arrive.  Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.

So, how can you avoid these feelings of loss and confusion?

By being more present every step of the way.

Pursue your goals and dreams while at the same time enjoying the journey of getting there.  Embrace the step you’re taking, even when you feel like you’ve lost your footing.  Sometimes the road gets bumpy.  Every step doesn’t have to be comfortable or perfectly placed.

By letting go of what “should” happen or what “could” happen every step of the way, you free up your life to various little surprises and joys.  You may not lead the exact life you want, but you will lead a meaningful, miraculous existence, guaranteed.  Life is sometimes difficult, but it’s not a chore.  Make it an adventure.  Make it fun.  Make the choice to feel good about yourself, about your world, about your possibilities and the step you’re taking right now.

Do so and you’ll smile all the way to the finish line, and beyond.

5.  Disempowering yourself with weak language.

Confident people use words with intention.  And you can be one of them.

Consider the difference between these two aspiring bloggers (and coaching students) I recently spoke with:

One says:  “Yes, I am a blogger.  You like meditation and yoga too?  Excellent!  We need to connect on this subject – check out my new mindfulness guide I just posted at…”

And the other says:  “Well, I’m trying to blog but am not sure I’m doing it right (nervous giggle).  I wish I had started sooner… blah, blah.”

Who do you think gets the most views, comments and social shares?

Bottom line:  If you’re trying to build something or become something, own it and speak like you mean it.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

6.  Expecting everyone else to be as kind, courteous and caring as you are.

Perhaps a harsh truth…

You will end up very disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them.

Not everyone has the same heart as you.

7.  Being too rigid (or too “mature”) to lose yourself in playful exploration.

Sometimes we put too much weight into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives.  Switch gears, relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes.  Try something new, be a bit daring, and explore your curiosity.  Letting go a little lets you experience the unexpected.

The greatest joys in life are often the unexpected surprises that you never intended to happen.  If you want to get really good at something, let go of the notion of perfection and replace it with the notion of endless playful exploration.

We don’t stop dreaming and exploring because we grow old; we grow old because we stop dreaming and exploring.

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